But He Never Did Come In Last

The blinds in my bedroom are still stuck open. This still bugs the shit out of me.

I'm still unemployed but I've had some interviews and I have one tomorrow and that's all I'll say about that.

My electric bill arrived and it was as bad as I thought it would be. I think. It was bad. It was high. But, it's paid and life went on.

People complain that I don't open up. I don't talk. I don't say anything. "Why do you put up walls Andrea? You can talk to me. Come on. Talk!" So, I do. And instead of hearing what I am saying about what I feel about my situation, I'm informed that "everybody is worried about x, y, or z." I'm not everybody. I'm Andrea. Nice to meet ya. Maybe that's a bit selfish, but I'm not really a nice person these days.

My car battery died the other day. Let me tell you something...when you live alone and you don't know but two people and they aren't close by or they have their own things to deal with so you don't feel like you can call and ask for assistance and your car won't start? You feel really fucking alone and you kinda freak out and cry like a freak for about two minutes. Until you remember that you have insurance and tow service and so you call. And then the tow truck arrives. And he says "That's not your alternator, that's your battery. I'll give you a jump." And then your neighbor comes out and is all "Is everything OK? Next time, knock on my door! I'm happy to help!" and then here comes another neighbor, "Hey, are you OK? Next time, just knock on my door!" And then I kinda realize that....I don't have to be so damned independent all the time and this isn't Virginia and my neighbors are not assholes. I'm surrounded by nice people that will help me if I need it and I don't have to be an island. I can be Andrea, a member of a society. This will take some time...

And, because it's what I do, BoobieThon is coming up super quick. In fact, while I was grabbing the link I saw that the pre-launch is going on now. So, boys and girls...do what you can do. Donate, spread the word, photograph your chest. Whatever. Just do something. And if it's not for the BoobieThon, that's fine. Choose something you want to do something for and do that. Cancer does get a lot of attention. Especially the boob cancer. Which is why I always stress to people that focus on the girl boobs that man boobs can get the cancer too. Apparently, I'm passionate about man boobs. I learn new things about myself daily.

I have started exercising again. Which, as was pointed out to me, has improved my mood. Yeah. This is the improved mood. Imagine what it was before I started doing the Wii Fit daily. And? I can now jog in place for 4 minutes without wanting to die! This? is HUGE! Yeah. I was that out of shape.

I was watching TV last night and they were talking about the news and the weather and they showed a map of the United States and they were talking about all the rain over on the East Coast. And I looked at the entire map of the United States and I looked at West Virginia and I looked at Arizona and all of a sudden it was like....holy shit! I'm way over here. I drove all the way over here and now I live here and my family all live over there and this really happened. I don't know why it just hit me then, but it did. I live in Arizona. A month and a half later it sunk in. Cool.

So, yeah. Despite the mopey and bitchy and surly and all around me being unpleasant....I'm still glad I did this. Every time I get in my car and I drive around, I'm glad I did this. Every morning when I walk my dogs, I'm glad I did this. Every day that encounter some other super nice person, I'm glad I did this. I'm just glad I did this. I did something for me. And I'm glad.